Hello Friends. One person took me up on my offer of healing last week which made it worthwhile. If anyone else wants some help, the offer stands. When I started on Substack, I wondered what I would find to write about. Now I have a queue of waiting posts and usually something else comes along to take me in a different direction, but it’s all going the same way. That’s what it’s like when you know where you are going but you are not sure how you are going to get there.
This post was prompted by Carrie-Ann’s post Sparks For You #5, about mission and vision. This is how I address the topic in chapter 2 of my book. Chapter 1 is about getting your needs met, chapter 2 is about agency, taking your life in the direction you want to go. These make up the foundations of mental and emotional health. Remember this is designed to help young people just starting out on their adult life. Any feedback to help me improve it would be really helpful…
To build your life on the opinion of others, or on your own shifting moods and impulses, that is to build a house on sand. To know your own mind, take control, know where you are going, that is to build a house on solid foundations. It is to yourself first that you need to look to achieve anything; and especially if you want to find happiness.
There are three things you need to apply to get started: vision, intention and attention. Then weave them into an everyday routine of personal development.
1. VISION
Where do you see yourself going in life? What is your dream?
Do not simply set your sights on something or someone outside of you. Ask yourself what kind of person you want to be. What kind of life do you want to be living? How do you want to be feeling? How do you want to be acting in different situations? What kind of personal qualities do you want to grow stronger? How will they show themselves?
Make a list of the qualities you wish to develop. Strength, courage, confidence, calmness, patience, cheerfulness, kindness, wisdom, creativity, discipline, purpose, etc. What kind of qualities have you shown in the past that you would like to feel more of? Think about it. Imagine yourself being that person.
To find your own path in life, notice what you love to do and what comes naturally to you. Keep an open mind so you can see the opportunities that come your way. Look for good things to happen. Be quiet enough to listen to your intuition. When things are hard, see them as a challenge and look for the way through them. These challenges will help you to grow.
Perhaps you just want to be the best that you can be. Or you may simply aim to overcome the way you feel now and get to feel more like your true self – to set yourself free. Imagine that!
Life is a journey and you need to have some idea of where you are going if you are ever going to get anywhere. But do not dwell in the future, the land of fantasy and fear. Live in the present with your feet on the ground and walk forward.
2. INTENTION
It is your intention that will get you to wherever you want to go.
Intention is much stronger than a wish, more powerful than having a target to aim for. Intention is both the target and the rocket that sets you in motion toward it. It is the determination to get to where you want to go.
Intention is something that you decide with your whole being. It is not: 'This is what I want.' It is: 'This is where I am going.'
Intention comes from making your mind up and deciding: 'This is who I am going to be.' The fire that ignites it will come from your heart, so find first what is in your heart and make your mind up to go with that.
3. ATTENTION
Attention is the fuel that keeps the rocket going toward its target. Without regularly giving it attention, the engine will stall and you will fall short. Give all your attention to the bad feelings and those are the ones you will be fuelling.
You need to give your intention some attention every day. Make some time for yourself, as much as you think you can keep to every day. If you cannot manage an hour, take half an hour. If you cannot manage ten minutes, take five. If you cannot give yourself five minutes, give yourself one. It is a seed that will grow.
Do not be hard on yourself if you forget to give yourself some attention one day. Just remember and give yourself some the next.
It is easier to keep it going if you establish a routine. What time of day will you do this? At what point? Where? Anchor down your intention in time and space. Then it will become grounded in everyday reality.
There is a lot of emphasis in business and psychology on goal setting. To me, this is too narrow and prescriptive. The important thing is to have direction, to know where you are headed in life. You may not know what the destination will be like until you get there. It’s not about producing results. That can be limiting and ultimately unsatisfying. Where you are going on the inside is as important as where you are going on the outside. What do you think?
In my next post I will consider my vision for my book and how it has evolved. That’s if I don’t get diverted to another topic first!
I appreciate the whole person approach you’ve taken with this piece, considering not just the behavioural action but also the inner voice and character. ‘The important thing is to have direction, to know where you are headed in life. You may not know what the destination will be like until you get there.’ I found this a helpful alternative to the usual goal focussed approach that can restrict and close down opportunities.
I loved this reminder:
> There is a lot of emphasis in business and psychology on goal setting. To me, this is too narrow and prescriptive. The important thing is to have direction, to know where you are headed in life...
You're absolutely right — society puts far more emphasis on goal setting than on direction, let alone the why behind it.
That narrative needs to change.
The hard part is that goal setting often delivers tangible outcomes. And as long as outcomes keep showing up, industries won’t be too concerned about the bigger picture. But direction can unlock much deeper value — and too many people are stuck chasing short-term wins instead of long-term alignment.
Hopefully, we can help shift that narrative.
I also wrote about intentionality recently (hope it’s okay to cross-share): https://www.self-disciplined.com/p/willpower-vs-intentionality